Perhaps adulthood isn't so much measured by age, but by distance from the last folly. The follies in my life so far have been at first unknowingly carried out, and then with time, more intently done. But as of late, I can't quite recall when the last folly was. It probably wasn't even in this country. Over time I have learned to sense where things are going, and to believe what I sense, and very few things, especially humanly ones, manage to surprise me. Hence I simply more or less successfully maneuver around what's ahead of me based on what has and has not worked in the past. In my maneuvers there are not exquisite strategies or exact calculations. Reality often does not require such strategies and calculations to calm itself. If it does, then it often means it isn't reality - it is rather my will imposed on it. Reality needs simple things, nice words for the ego, uttered through smiley eyes, feigned knowledge, demonstrated through pretty formats, and an unwavering commitment to remain agreeable, especially socially. The paradigm is widely applicable, I needn't engage too much of my mind. From this vantage point, things are not only manageable but also quite predictable. I maybe have finally understood what "overthinking" means - a unique form of hubris in the belief that one could reconcile reality with belief, rather than the other way around. In overthinking there has been much anguish that has been present for the better part of my life. By shedding that hubris, everything has felt way better. Even in the entire routine of my current walk of life, going to the office, coming back from the office, waiting for the weekend, enjoying the weekend, and getting two paychecks every month, there isn't much friction. It does not mean that friction does not spring into existence. It's just that I have become quite adept at nullifying it as they pop up. I do it in the same way a cat licks itself, along the fur and not against it. And I judge the outcome by whether the fur has been straightened and disaster averted, and not through value lenses and grandiose words like honesty, integrity, skepticism, which are anyways dubious words in the context of the current day and age.
I notice that many people still view the world through the many lenses they wear. And they are practically all different. Some are a rose-tinted pair to show certain things in certain colors; some are rather magnifying glasses or kaleidoscopes that either needlessly exaggerate or abstractly complicate. Some are even just straight up projectors. And what they have seen might have gratified or disturbed them quite a bit. I used to have many pairs of them in the past, but at the moment, due to the increased eye fatigue from everything I was seeing, I have not worn anything, I have just my own naked eyes which make everything kind of blurry due to the good-old myopia. Sometimes I even close my eyes, as many things aren't meant to be seen, and at the same time, there are many things I don't want to see. Then I'll open my eyes, seeing blurry things, and go about my days, which has worked well at the present.
Adulthood, isn't it nice?
