I've had this impulse of spending several paragraphs to discuss the weather and the morphology of the street, with a sense of melancholy entitlement reeking from between the lines, and have failed. When I ask myself of who I am, I'm always unable to provide an answer in an intimate term. Sometimes it's because pretense is a habit in me, or I simply don't have an answer myself. Heteronym, more precisely. I'm not the worker operating machinery in the nearby construction site, I'm the laborer trying to imagine his life. After downloading tons of books which I decided to read, it appears to me that the enjoyment of literature, and the wildness of thought are just momentary. They pass as they're ephemeral. So I sit in obeisance and wait for the iBooks to load so that I can slide to the last page to tell myself that I've finished reading. I respected, in the deepest corner of mind, the existence of humanity, and for the rest of my more conscious being, I've rejected the notion of writing, be it composing or documenting. Yet again, I'm writing, to my reluctance, to my pleasure.
I received an interview invitation from the Industrial Design Department of the NUS. And I turned it off out of financial hardships, possible rejection letter of other people, or laziness whatever. I'm curious about the future, and I try my best to plan it, to stereotype it according to my sarcastic preconception. The noise, the car backing warning, and the sour taste of coke I adored so miserably in the past, and avert so continuously right now. I once told my brother, people will change, and we changed. I once told my sister, I'm getting mature and confident, and I'm not. The desperate girl texted me three times despite the dearth of reply from me. She wanted that guy to fall in love with her, she believes he secretly loves her - belief is never prediction - she's now sobbing, suiciding, eating bread and Prozac, everything but succeed in her wish. People invent words, invent sentence, and invent state of the arts in order to describe their helplessness more distinctly, and soul more crushingly. They howl for a sec and then moan the next. They've died as soon as they're born. He's dead; he's born; he's dead; he's born. But the one who's dead is happy, and the one who's born is ignorant, therefore, equally happy. Gao and his girlfriend tried the sexual exploration again today. She's penetrated with his finger. And they are happy. Then wait for a year and a half, situation's changed, they are separating with a form of supreme composure and an oblivious bittersweet flashback into the necropolis of their past. Hey, doggie style they said, G-spot they said, and all of a sudden they grew tired. I had enough, you? Damn, I so loathe you would you please get off the bed but go not too far away so I still see you next time when I need you physically and psychologically - and I loathe you.
The light is glaring. I told the Apple customer service to remove my account balance, so I can update QQ Music in Chinese App Store. The sound of the name, the language of it is inconsistent, obsessively wrong. But I've got Icon Renamer by Ryan Petriach installed. I could do a little modification. Where the hell is iOS 7.1 jailbreak then, pod2g?
On my phone also Wechat app is deleted to be replaced with Youdao Dict. Offline British and American pronunciations are downloaded. And they've cost me electricity, and healthiness of my brain cell. Mysteriously, mystery.
My uncle failed his business after losing 60k of initial investment, which comes from me and my father and my grandmother. And he's not accused of anything. No one dares to accuse an alcoholic or even feels sorry or sympathetic. Because disappointment is natural and expectation is affiliatory. I'm not an alcoholic, I rarely disappoint anyone. I squeeze in them iron and blood and bullet. Godlike and remorselessly I pursue the sun.
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Chinese Apple users have a high demand for games and apps that are not available in the local App Store. ITunes Gift Card is a perfect solution. The dearth of the online stores selling those cards presents an opportunity. In the United States, cards with up to 25% discount is frequent, when sold with 10% interest, the selling price is still significantly lower than that of the most competitors. But yeah, I don't have spare money to purchase any discounted gift cards. So I'll just pass it.
